Ah, BDSM. Wonderful concept. Wonderful people. Wonderfully perverse.

So why is it so damned hard to find a good top, or a good dominant? I'm currently talking with a friend of mine, on the MUCK called Tapestries (http://www.fur.com/tapestries/ for information), and he's telling me that he doesn't feel he fits well into current society, and would feel better with someone to take care of him. In exchange, the person taking care of him would be "in charge" within and without the relationship... including sexually.

Gee, this sounds like a perfect recipe for slavery to me. (Note: That link is to a copy of my own slave contract, posted on Everything2.com.) Abdicate rights to your Master, and your Master returns them if and when He sees fit. A kind of "noblesse oblige" concept... "I take care of you, therefore I get to do whatever I want with you."

In my case, I don't trade freedom for safety or security. (Well, maybe I do, to an extent.) I always have the freedom to walk away and say "no". The contract I signed... well, it's unenforceable. But it is still signed, by me, with full faith to uphold its terms. (I stayed up until 8am for three nights in a row to write the damned thing, wrestling with myself over and over again over the issues that I came across... what would I be willing to give Him, what would I reserve for myself, what things could He expect me to give Him, what things could I expect from Him... important stuff like that. Eventually, we bounced versions back and forth, and we came up with the version that we signed on 24Mar2001.)

And now? It's more than 6 months later, and I'm still with Him. And I realized tonight that He's truly the first man I've ever been committed to, enough to not really want to play sexually with many other people. (Even though I still will -- He doesn't seem to have that high of a sex drive, especially right now. I need a bit more sex in my life than He's willing to give me right now...)

Oh well. I should stop rambling. Wanted to talk about BDSM, ended up talking about my specific instance thereof. Sheesh.